This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
