they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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