1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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