i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
