He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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