Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
