yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
