can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
