We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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