Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
