We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
