Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
