just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
