think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
