Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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