My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
