I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
handjob tips. give me some.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
