Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
