i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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