threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
