this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
