So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
