I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
