After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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