ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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