I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
