it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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