we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
