Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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