You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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