hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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