I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
My pussy is not your playground.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
