What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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