My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
