If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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