Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i think my tv is drunk
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
