Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
