so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize