you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
