Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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