I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
