I hate your face
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
