i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
