I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
