Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
