matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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