I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
