As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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