bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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