life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
