ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
