I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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