Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
