God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
