can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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