He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
