When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
